PAINT MANAGEMENT

May before last The Wife and I went to Chase Field for "Paint at the Park" Day...

...in which our seats in the roomy, comfortable "All You Can Eat" section beyond center field were supplied with an apron, a paper plate with various blobs of acrylic paint on it, a couple of brushes, a paper towel, a plastic cup of water for rinsing, and a small canvas. We were then given instruction in painting a serene desert landscape by night, with the moon as a baseball sailing overhead. This was my finished product...

...currently hanging in my garage.

It was quite fun, so yesterday we went again. This time, instead of a canvas, we were provided with a small wooden placard with letters outlined on it...

...and the instructor guided us through making the word HOME, decorated with Diamondbacks colors and motifs. I found it much more difficult than working with the canvas, but it was still fun. Here we see The Wife's crisply realized, gift shop worthy finished product...

And here's my masterpiece, which looks as though I painted it while wearing boxing gloves and riding over sand dunes in an off-road vehicle...

The game, against the Minnesota Twins, also left something to be desired. Starter Jordan Montgomery gave up six runs in the second inning, and his relievers Scott McGough and Bryce Jarvis did little better. The D-bax bats did entertainingly come to life a bit in the fourth inning against Twins starter David Besta, making his Major League debut, and Ketel Marte whacked his 17th homer of the year, but it was all way too little too late; the final was 13-6.

The Wife and I stayed to the bitter end, consoling ourselves with copious All-You-Can-Eat hotdogs and other goodies not good for us, and also with the knowledge that we were leaving the park having created art that transcended the disappointment on the scoreboard...

 

42 FOR THE SHOW

Last night The Wife and I betook ourselves to Chase Field...

...where, in the company of a gang from The Day Gig, we observed Jackie Robinson Night, the anniversary of Robinson's debut with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947.

Our beloved Diamondbacks were taking on the Chicago Cubs. It was a beautiful night for baseball, and it was great to see 42s on everybody's backs...

(Excuse the lousy cell phone pictures.)

Alas, what we didn't see was much offense from the hometown team. Despite a solid start from pitcher Merrill Kelly and some fine scoring opportunities, the Snakes lost, 2-3 in 10 innings. The Wife's long, discouraging streak as a jinx--the D-bax seem to contrive to lose whenever I talk her into going--annoyingly continues.

That's in the regular season, that is; they did manage to win the preseason game against the Cleveland Guardians to which she took me a couple of weeks ago on my birthday. But I think the last time she's seen a regular-season win was in 2017, when The Kid was with us, and we saw them defeat the Miami Marlins and clinch a playoff spot. The Kid, with me and with friends, has a much better win-lose record.

Anyway, hail Jackie Robinson!

BRUSH LEAGUE

Yesterday The Wife and I betook ourselves to Chase Field to see the Arizona Diamondbacks play the Washington Nationals. It was "Bark at the Park" day, so we saw many fabulous dogs...

...but it was also "Paint at the Park" day, so in our section, an area of tables and chairs beyond the outfield...

...each seat was supplied with an apron, a paper plate loaded with several blobs of acrylic paint, brushes and a small blank canvas...

So for the first time I can remember since finger-painting at the Church of the Covenant preschool when I was four, I tried to paint a picture.

This is what it was supposed to look like...

The moon as a baseball, sailing through the sky of a peaceful nighttime desertscape.

I love to look at paintings, and I'm a chronic doodler with pen or pencil--I can still knock out the frog from Ed Emberly's Drawing Book of Animals--but I was pretty sure that painting wouldn't be my medium. Still, I gave it the old college try, watching and listening carefully to the instructor a couple rows down as she did it right.

The Wife's finished product looks sharp and capable...

It's Louvre-worthy compared to my baseball/moon...

...which came out looking like a powdered jelly donut with two centipedes crawling over it.

Well at least I tried. And it was kind of fun. Truthfully, as bad as it is, it probably came out a smidge better than I thought it would.

Oh yeah, the game: The Diamondbacks led the Washington Nationals most of the afternoon, but some sloppy defensive play resulted in them blowing their lead, the game, and their chance at the first series sweep of the season. The final was 9-8; boo.

NO-NO, NOT YET

Last week our beloved Arizona Diamondbacks won back-to-back 7-inning games in a double header, shutting out the Atlanta Braves in both games. In game one Zac Gallen allowed only one hit; in the second game Madison Bumgarner pitched a "no hitter" (not recorded as such, because it wasn't a nine-inning game). As a result, the Snakes offered $14 tickets this Friday and Saturday, in honor of the 14 innings of shutout baseball.

I would have liked it even better had they offered $7 tickets for Bumgarner's seven no-hit innings, but I guess that's pushing my luck. In any case, The Wife and I decided to avail ourselves of the offer, and took our fully-vaccinated selves to Chase Field, for the first time in nearly two years, to enjoy some live baseball.

Here was the view from our third-base-side nosebleeders...

Not far from our seats was a display featuring the jerseys that Gallen and Bumgarner wore in their wins last week, and I was handed a sign asking MLB to "Make It Count" (Bumgarner's no-no, that is) and encouraged to pose with the jerseys; I did not shirk...

Superb as both pitchers were, I obviously can see the viewpoint that it isn't the same achievement as a nine-inning no-hitter. My own eagerly-sought opinion is that if seven inning double headers are going to become a regular thing, than the Seven-Inning No-Hitter should be officially established, and Bumgarner's should be recognized.

Alas, the game didn't go as well as those two last week. Starter Gallen did not, to put it mildly, have his best stuff against the Rockies last night, getting into much trouble with walks, etc. The bullpen fared even more miserably, especially poor Matt Peacock, who gave up seven runs, including a grand slam by Dom Nunez, in the 8th inning. The final was 14-6. Groan!

There weren't many highlights for D-backs fans, although Andy Young hit a homer off the bench, and Josh Rojas belted one out in the ninth, to keep his streak going. Best of all, when the Rockies pulled away, the D-backs sent position players out to pitch: that terrific old warhorse Asdrubal Cabrera in the eighth inning, and young Wyatt Mathisen in the ninth. Some of their pitches registered less than 50 miles per hour, but they didn't really do any worse than the bullpen: they each gave up a hit, but got their men out.

I should also note there were personal highlights for us: Early on the roof was opened, and it was lovely to enjoy the pleasant breeze of a spring night downtown. Also, while I was away for a ridiculous amount of time, standing in a long line to buy pop, a nice young couple down the row sweetly gave the poor abandoned Wife a churro, which she shared with me when I got back. Yummy!

And, nice to see Baxter masked up and looking out for us...

PRIDE SHARE

This past Friday The Wife, The Kid and Your Humble Narrator betook ourselves to Chase Field for Pride Night...

...and to watch the D-bax take on San Francisco. The game was pretty wretched; the final score was Giants 11, D-bax 5. But the atmosphere at the park was fun and festive, and it was followed by an excellent fireworks display with lots of rainbow colors, accompanied by a trying-too-hard soundtrack full of Elton John, Boy George and the Village People.

Outside the park, by the gates at the west end, were the inevitable street preachers decrying the celebration of "pride" through bullhorns, and a peek at some of the skin-crawly comments on the team's Facebook page, including repeated whiny iterations of "when is straight pride night?" was similarly dispiriting, as was the almost complete lack of acknowledgement of the event on the TV broadcast. But it was still a terrific evening.

RANDY AND MAD

These identical Randy Johnson figurines...

...were the giveaway loot The Kid and I obtained when we betook ourselves to Chase Field Saturday night to see the Diamondbacks take on San Francisco. It was the decade-and-a-half anniversary of Johnson's perfect game back in 2004, so The Big Unit was there to throw out the first pitch, and his catcher for that game, Robby Hammock, was there to catch it.

The game that followed, alas, wasn't so perfect. Poor Zac Godley had another rough night on the mound for the Snakes, while Madison Bumgarner was at his maddening best for San Fran. It felt like the D-bax were still in the game until the Panda himself, Pablo Sandoval, seemed to stick a fork in them with pinch-hit homer off Matt Andriese in the 8th.

The final was 8-5. Disappointing, but The Kid and I had blast stuffing ourselves with outrageously-priced ballpark food. And we heard a lovely, thrilling a capella performance of the National Anthem by members of the Musical Theatre of, well, Anthem.

GIVE THEM A CLINCH, THEY TAKE A MILE

Having kindly been given free tickets, The Wife and I and The Kid betook ourselves to Chase Field yesterday to see the Diamondbacks take on the Miami Marlins. These were the looks on our faces after the game...

(That's right, that's Randy Johnson with us. These were good seats.)

Back in May, The Wife and I went to the game on Mother's Day, only to see our beloved Snakes beaten by the Pirates. But they made up for it Sunday. Not only did we have the pleasure of seeing the great Giancarlo Stanton not hit his 58th home run of the season for the Marlins, we also got to be there when the D-bax clinched a playoff spot, their first since 2011, in the middle of the 4th Inning courtesy of losses by the Brewers and the Cardinals. Then J.D. Martinez won the game, 3-2, at the end of a nail-biting 9th Inning with a two-out, bases-loaded walk-off smash, thus clinching home field advantage.

TUFFY, SOCRATES & THE SUPERKING

Happy October everybody! Check out the October issue of Phoenix Magazine, now on the stands…

…for my “Four Corners” column (page 185, or here), my review of the yummy Tunisian restaurant Habbouz (page 184, or here) and this year’s Best of the Valley section, to which I contributed (again, no prizes for guessing which entries are mine).

If even that’s not a hearty enough portion of Your Humble Narrator, check out New Times blogs for my account of auditioning (unsuccessfully) for Jeopardy! back in the early ‘90s...

I hadn’t made it to a single Diamondbacks game during this highly disappointing season, but The Kid, for making the honor roll at her summer school, had obtained a coupon for a free ticket which, having little interest in baseball—where have I gone wrong?—she gave to me, and as yesterday afternoon was the last regular season game, I took myself down to Chase Field to watch the Diamondbacks take on the more-or-less equally lame San Diego Padres. Probably because it was happening opposite the Cardinals game across town, it was a very sparsely-attended affair, which gave it a relaxing and fun atmosphere.

This was a true nosebleed seat, overlooking the third-base line, but I liked the vantage; these cell-phone images, though photographically abject, give some idea of the God’s-eye view…

As for the game itself, it remained stubbornly unexciting until the last two innings, when the Diamondbacks tied the score at 2-2. In the ninth, catcher “Tuffy” Gosewisch doubled, then was replaced at second by pinch-runner Socrates Brito, marking a collaboration by the Diamondbacks with the two coolest names. Pinch-hitter Phil Gosselin then singled Brito home, the Diamondbacks won, and in so doing managed, by one game, not to finish last in the NL West. For a few seconds, it felt not unlike they had won the World Series.

Feeble though this triumph may have been, it should be noted that the D-bax faithful had a more pleasant afternoon then the Cardinals faithful; the birds lost to the Rams 17-13.

Wandering around Chase Field during the duller stretches, I also met some lovely dogs on the “PetSmart Patio,” and ran across this puzzling guy…

Superman from the neck down, Elvis from the neck up?

DEADBACKS

Easy shot, but considering the nature of the Arizona Diamondbacks' play this season, few promotions could be more appropriate than this Saturday’s, at Chase Field: Zombie Night. Despite their 9th-inning comeback in Chicago Wednesday, the lads have certainly looked like a bunch of stiffs out there this year. So…

Monster-of-the-Week: …this week’s honor goes to this guy…
 

NODBALL

Speaking of baseball, as Your Humble Narrator just was—the Diamondbacks clinched the NL West Championship last Friday! The following evening, The Kid & I betook ourselves to Chase Field to watch the reptiles add insult to the Giants’ injury, routing them 15-2. It was Hispanic Heritage Night, & the lads were decked out in their “Los Dbacks” gear, & before the game we were transfixed by Ballet Folklorico & Capoeira performances. Then we watched the Dbacks drive the Giants’ starter, poor Eric Surkamp, out of the game in the first inning, after he had recorded just two outs.

It was a very long, peculiar game—there was even a power outage during the 7th Inning—& we left, thoroughly satisfied, long before it ended. The highlight of the evening, as far as The Kid was concerned, was getting her Ryan “Tatman” Roberts bobblehead...

Tatted-up arms, neck & all, Ryan now stands atop her bookcase, ready to nod in vigorous agreement with whatever she says: Just what every girl wants from a guy.